Monday, January 4, 2010


Ever have a lot you want to say but not a clue how to say it?  I have so much rambling on in my head that this post probably won't be very organized.  It reminds me of Phedipidations "thought, opinions and rambling diatribes composed during long distance runs."

It was an interesting day at work.  First day back after the new year and I had done some reflecting over the weekend about what I wanted in 2010.  First, I want to provide value.  I have been at my company for over 14 years and I'm stagnant.  If I had a questionnaire to complete, the question did you provide value today probably wouldn't get checked.  I know part of it is due to me just being too hard on myself.  The other part is there just isn't much going on in the company.  There are no special projects and on the same note, there are no fires to be put out.  Anyways, I know I want to provide value and I'd also like to get away from managing people.  I feel there are other people that are much more skilled than me and could do a better job. I want to feel part of something, part of a team, part of a bigger picture that I don't have to create by myself. Oh, and I have to write my own review and the only thing I want to put in there is how I don't do a good job and here are all the areas I could do better.   How many of you out there have to write your own review?  Ugh, it sucks.

I got sucked into a meeting with my boss and although the meeting wasn't about me and my review, it headed that direction.  I basically said I suck, he said that I don't.  Its a conversation we've had for years.  He feels I provide value and he's happy with my performance.  I know I should be happy  that he's happy and I have a great job, but there is still discontentment at the job.

I didn't have to carpool today which left me open to go to track with the RxRunning club.  Once I move I'll be able to make it to track more often and I'm looking forward to that.  Coach Dean starts off "tonights workout is 8-400's with speed strength exercises in-between. For those training for a marathon it's 4-5 x 800's with the exercises. "  I'm happy to do 800's because I want to do the Yasso 800's and use that as my fitness gauge for the marathon.  I did 6 x 800's last week and ideally would have wanted to do 7 this week but I wasn't counting on situps, pushups, lunge matrix and squats in between sets.  On my 2nd lap of the first 800 thinking about what Coach Dean said, I had to smile because I'm a marathoner.  I AM A MARATHONER.  WOW!   After qualifying for Boston and actually running Boston I may choose to not run another marathon but I will still always be a marathoner.  I ended up doing 6 x 800's  at 3:30, 3:32, 3:29, 3:30, 3:29, 3:27.   These could be considered a little fast or maybe my conditioning is getting better.  Next week I'll do 7.  I'll have to look at the calendar and see if there are enough weeks to make my way up to 10 x 800.  Less than 6 weeks to the marathon.

I'm now home, hungry and cold after the track workout.  I'm hunched over typing away and have inhaled two pieces of bread with Smart Balance butter and know I should eat something that could actually be considered dinner and I should go shower and change clothes.  John's went to the Fiesta Bowl so I have zero obligation to cook and may end up just eating cereal.  Because I was in a meeting with my boss this afternoon, I need to sign on and get a spreadsheet done for work tonight too.  If only blogging could count for work.  Could you imagine having a job where part of your job was writing a blog and reading others.  That would be sweet.

Happy Running!


Carol said...

Yes, we're doing the half. I may have one other marathon in me but unless everything is perfect, I'll just stay with the half. I'm not sure which day we'll hit the expo, it all depends on what time we get into town on Friday. I have an aunt that I'm going to go to dinner with, either Friday or Sunday, so it depends on when we do that. So, lots still up in the air. The only thing I do know is that the night before the race I'll have pancakes for supper - LOL! Have you run this before?

robinbb said...

That sounds like a very hard workout, yet you killed it, congrats!

I am currently looking for a job so can't relate to your review experience at all, but after 14 years, I am sure your boss couldn't imagine functioning without you.

kilax said...

Great job on the 800s!

I swear, this blogging job is out there somewhere.

It does sound like you need a challenge at work! How has your boss responded to that?

Jill said...

Okay Chica, you had me laughing all the way (well, except you rocked the 800's!!). I always have a thousand things in my brain going constantly. I never feel content at work. I eat toast many times at night for dinner. Thanks for making me feel like I fit in! Hang in there!!!

lindsay said...

i've only been in the workforce for almost 4 years, so i'm certainly not managing anyone, but i have to do my own reviews too. it does suck! hello boss, you're supposed to tell me what i'm doing good/bad, right/wrong... especially at least when you're new anyway.

it definitely sounds like you are too hard on yourself and that your boss appreciates everything you do. work has been VERY slow for me for months now - i feel like i'm wasting away. when i told my boss i wasn't be challenged enough he just said "yeah that will change in a few weeks" (um back in september...)

i wish i could just get paid to blog and run! (but i don't want to sellout to plastering ads on my page either) :)

April said...

I always have a lot to say and not a clue how to say it!! Especially when I'm running. Sometimes I wish I had a pen and paper with me on long runs to write all of my randomness down!
Interesting work situation. I wish I had some great words of wisdom to offer but I don't.:( Will be praying for some great new opportunities to come your way though!

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