Ever have a lot you want to say but not a clue how to say it? I have so much rambling on in my head that this post probably won't be very organized. It reminds me of Phedipidations "thought, opinions and rambling diatribes composed during long distance runs."
It was an interesting day at work. First day back after the new year and I had done some reflecting over the weekend about what I wanted in 2010. First, I want to provide value. I have been at my company for over 14 years and I'm stagnant. If I had a questionnaire to complete, the question did you provide value today probably wouldn't get checked. I know part of it is due to me just being too hard on myself. The other part is there just isn't much going on in the company. There are no special projects and on the same note, there are no fires to be put out. Anyways, I know I want to provide value and I'd also like to get away from managing people. I feel there are other people that are much more skilled than me and could do a better job. I want to feel part of something, part of a team, part of a bigger picture that I don't have to create by myself. Oh, and I have to write my own review and the only thing I want to put in there is how I don't do a good job and here are all the areas I could do better. How many of you out there have to write your own review? Ugh, it sucks.
I got sucked into a meeting with my boss and although the meeting wasn't about me and my review, it headed that direction. I basically said I suck, he said that I don't. Its a conversation we've had for years. He feels I provide value and he's happy with my performance. I know I should be happy that he's happy and I have a great job, but there is still discontentment at the job.
I didn't have to carpool today which left me open to go to track with the RxRunning club. Once I move I'll be able to make it to track more often and I'm looking forward to that. Coach Dean starts off "tonights workout is 8-400's with speed strength exercises in-between. For those training for a marathon it's 4-5 x 800's with the exercises. " I'm happy to do 800's because I want to do the Yasso 800's and use that as my fitness gauge for the marathon. I did 6 x 800's last week and ideally would have wanted to do 7 this week but I wasn't counting on situps, pushups, lunge matrix and squats in between sets. On my 2nd lap of the first 800 thinking about what Coach Dean said, I had to smile because I'm a marathoner. I AM A MARATHONER. WOW! After qualifying for Boston and actually running Boston I may choose to not run another marathon but I will still always be a marathoner. I ended up doing 6 x 800's at 3:30, 3:32, 3:29, 3:30, 3:29, 3:27. These could be considered a little fast or maybe my conditioning is getting better. Next week I'll do 7. I'll have to look at the calendar and see if there are enough weeks to make my way up to 10 x 800. Less than 6 weeks to the marathon.
I'm now home, hungry and cold after the track workout. I'm hunched over typing away and have inhaled two pieces of bread with Smart Balance butter and know I should eat something that could actually be considered dinner and I should go shower and change clothes. John's went to the Fiesta Bowl so I have zero obligation to cook and may end up just eating cereal. Because I was in a meeting with my boss this afternoon, I need to sign on and get a spreadsheet done for work tonight too. If only blogging could count for work. Could you imagine having a job where part of your job was writing a blog and reading others. That would be sweet.