Saturday, August 29, 2009

Keep Moving Forward

Beep! Beep! Beep! The alarm going off at 4:30am while in the midst of dreaming is an abrupt awakening. Today is a 20 mile bike ride that needs to be completed quickly (along with eating and showering) to make a 9am appointment. It was still dark out when I headed out a 5am and it didn't take too long before I saw another biker and then a runner. I brought my camera along today to take pictures of the buffalo to prove to those unbelievers there are buffalo in Gilbert, Arizona. The buffalo pictures are at the bottom of the blog. When the sun started coming up I stopped and took a couple of pictures. Here are a few pictures from my morning ride.

Last night I wrote in my journal and I've debated sharing it but feel it helped me (some) shift to a better feeling and so I decided to share.

I'm really, really nervous about my training. I'm so worried I'll come up injured again. I can feel twinges in my knee and hip and worry I'll have to stop my training. (They are currently ok now while running but at rest I can sometimes feel them. ) The worry is affecting me
. I've been reading an e-book and am trying to

change my thinking when I'm aware of it. I find myself thinking, worrying about running. I don't want to feel like a failure. I write that statement knowing I just used "don't" and I did it purposely so I can look at it further. Is it really failure? Worried about what people will think? What will other runners say? What will I say...oh, I'm injury prone. It is interesting that I choose the word failure. My whole life I try and yet I feel like a failure. What is a failure? Someone, something that didn't live up to standards. Standards defined by someone else. Based on beliefs and views of others. Take that really a failure if I can't train for a marathon? I will qualfiy and yes, I'd like it to be this year, but who is saying I'm a failure if I don't? Other runners? Don't they also understand how tough it is? They may have an opinion but its no a failure. I don't consider someone who comes up with an injury or decides not to run a failure. I will keep moving forward.
On my ride when I would see runners and feel
that twinge of disappointment (yeah, I know I'm running again
), or find myself worrying about my knee, or having self doubt, I would tell myself...Keep Moving Forward. It helps shift the feeling to a better thought, something more manageable, something less focused on potential bad. Its all good.

As promised, the pictures of buffalo in Gilbert, Az.

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