Worst Parade Ever is going to be the next sign I make to cheer on friends running a race. Imagine someone showing up for a parade with floats and marching bands only to see runners trudging by, some smiling, some glaring and some flat out in their own world they don't even notice you.
Back in February many of my friends were running the IMS Arizona Marathon and I headed out with my double sign in tow. Not being very creative outside of creating a sign with "RUN", I went to the web for inspiration. The one thing I knew is my sign wouldn't have "You're Almost There." There really should be a law against that one. The only time that is remotely funny is at mile 1 of a half or full marathon.
Some funny signs I found are:
- "In our minds, you're all Kenyans."
- "Your feet hurt because you are kicking so much butt!"
- "Your legs will forgive you...eventually."
- "Don't stop -- people are watching."
- "Chafe now...brag forever."
- "That's not sweat, it's your fat cells crying."
- "You've got stamina! Call me!"
- "If it was easy, I would do it."
- "Toenails are for sissies." or "Don't worry, toenails are overrated."
- "You're not slow. You're just enjoying the course."
- "Stop reading this and keep running!"
- "Beat Oprah!"
- "Puke and rally!"
- "Run like someone's chasing you."
- "Run faster...I just farted."
- "It'll feel better when it stops hurting."
- "You trained longer than Kim Kardashian's marriage!"
- "Mortuary ahead....look alive!"
Rule 2.20 in The Runner's Rule Book by Mark Remy says" Truth, fiction, or neutral, the key is to say something. Even a zombie appreciates a note of encouragement."